


balance

by dererin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Insecurity, Kageyama is doting, M/M, blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dererin/pseuds/dererin
Summary: okay, hinata told himself, don’t freak out. don’t freak out, everything’s fine, you’ll check once just to make sure.but he peeked again, and there was just no mistaking it. kageyama was definitelyhard.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 20
Kudos: 345





	balance

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally supposed to be a fic about doting kageyama...why did it turn into this??

hinata shoyo was definitely pretty happy, all things considered. it had been good enough, winning against shiratorizawa. and _then_ kageyama had gone and kissed him, and, well. for the first time, hinata felt like he’d truly won. it had, weirdly, almost been more exhilarating than winning against a strong team. up until now, hinata thought he’d only feel that kind of thrill while playing volleyball, but. then kageyama did _that._

they starting dating, after some initial confusion. (kageyama hadn’t known if hinata liked him back, and hinata had been too excited to actually tell him, but they worked it out.)

it was...not what hinata had imagined, at all. at first, he was really unsettled, because he’d been expecting to deal with the same kageyama he’d known this whole time. but though they still squabbled and held competitions over silly things, and always kept score of their wins and losses, kageyama was definitely acting different, and it was as if he’d substituted a part of himself with someone else’s personality or something. it started almost immediately after hinata accepted his confession.

when they went on their first date, kageyama paid for everything, refusing to let hinata even finish the sentence ‘we can at least split it’. he was constantly paying attention to hinata, wiping a crumb from his face, pulling him to his shoulder when hinata got scared during the movie, and carrying hinata all the way back to the train station, and then from the station back home, when hinata had sprained his ankle trying to take the steps three at a time. (“look how fast i can get to the top, kageyama!” and he’d almost succeeded, too, hinata remembered glumly.)

it wasn’t that hinata didn’t like the attention. he loved it, basked in it happily, and kageyama could tell, so he kept doing it. it was just that it was throwing their whole dynamic so off balance, because hinata didn’t know what to do anymore once he knew he didn’t face the risk of kageyama getting really mad at him. it got to the point where hinata would almost (but almost, because he wasn’t a masochist) wish that kageyama would start getting angry at him more easily, because that was their whole thing. that was how they had functioned; with harsh words, and competitions, but they were always _there,_ showing that they did both care in the end.

he started to feel guilty when kageyama would always do things for him and treat him to food and just generally take care of him, and all hinata could do was accept these gestures, because he was at a loss of how to make it up to him; how to make their relationship equal again. and, of course, it wasn’t like they never fought or anything. hinata was still loud and would sometimes annoy kageyama on purpose because his reactions were always funny, but now, kageyama didn’t yell and wrestle him with the same vigour. (it only happened very occasionally, when hinata managed to epically get on his nerves.) kageyama would just call him an idiot in that deadpan way of his, and if hinata tried to wrestle him to the ground, he wouldn’t really fight back, he’d push just hard enough that hinata was still entertained.

it was...sort of like he was doing it just for hinata’s sake, so that he could feel a sense of normalcy. hinata actually found it sweet in theory, but in practice, it just made him feel weird, because he wasn't used to kageyama not reciprocating his vigour in their little clashes. in fact, one time, hinata could have sworn he saw kageyama _smiling_ as he silently listened to hinata tease him to no avail, which really freaked him out, though he didn’t say it.

hinata still loved kageyama’s attention, he loved it when kageyama checked to see if he was hurt after a difficult match, loved when kageyama bought him a popsicle when it was hot, loved when kageyama fed him bites of his own lunch and when he bought hinata sweet treats between classes.

he also still obviously loved the dazed expression on kageyama’s face after they’d kiss (who couldn’t love that reaction?) and the times kageyama would hug him from behind, resting his chin on hinata’s shoulder, murmuring for him to shut up before hinata even said anything, with claims that he needed to ‘recharge’. it was cute, hinata decided, really cute.

but...still unsettling. still, when they’d squabble half heartedly, hinata sort of got the feeling he was pitying him, or looking down on him, or something, and he didn’t like it. he hated to admit that he didn’t like it, because kageyama was being so nice to him; he wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was basically being the perfect boyfriend.

he’d walk hinata home, and only come in if hinata invited him. (which was almost always, really, but still.) he’d hold hinata’s hand without him having to ask for it, he’d _even_ send him good night and good morning and how was your day texts, which particularly touched hinata, who knew for a fact that kageyama hated texting. it was like he’d whipped out a rule book for ‘how to be the perfect boyfriend’, even taking hinata out on dates unrelated to volleyball even though kageyama had little interest in other things (but well, so did hinata). it made his heart soar, seeing the effort kageyama was clearly putting in to making him happy, and it was working.

hinata _was_ happy. it made him really happy when kageyama showed that he cared, even though it was such a struggle for him. but he couldn’t squash down that slightly bitter, unsettling feeling when kageyama would get mad at him only about 25% as much as he used to. don’t get him wrong, when kageyama got super angry, hinata still feared for his life and all. but it sort of felt like he was being babied, and he didn’t like not giving anything back to the relationship. it was weird. it wasn’t like before, it was weird, and hinata found himself thinking that he wished things would change.

he was thoroughly ashamed of himself, disgusted and horrified to realise that despite how well kageyama treated him, he wanted something different, like some ungrateful, greedy child. but he couldn’t help his feelings, he didn’t know what to do.

“hinata,” there was a voice behind him, sounding a little out of breath, and he realised he’d forgotten to wait for kageyama after practice, and had already been heading to the gate. how terrible of him; he felt like he couldn’t even do one thing right.

“ah, sorry...i got lost in my thoughts, i guess,” hinata said, turning, breath catching in his throat. somehow, looking at kageyama with the knowledge that he was _hinata’s_ (only hinata’s) boyfriend never got old.

“that’s okay,” kageyama said, and for a moment they just stood there.

“you’re—okay, right?” kageyama said after a beat. “you’ve been acting kind of distant lately, i think,”

hinata could smack himself right there. the whole thing made him feel even guiltier, if possible.

“i’m sorry!” he said earnestly, because he really meant it, “i didn’t mean to act like that! i’ve just been too stuck in my thoughts, maybe,” he said unsurely. was he supposed to explain to kageyama, or keep it to himself?

“it’s okay,” his boyfriend said too easily, taking hinata’s hand and gently leading him out of the gate, “as long as you’re fine,”

“yeah...” hinata said, feeling oddly emotional all of a sudden, overcome by a wave of affection for how uncharacteristically understanding kageyama was being.

“hey, kageyama,” hinata squeezed his hand.

“what’s wrong?” kageyama replied.

hinata had to cup his face with both hands to pull him down for a kiss, refusing to let him pull away after.

“wh-what’s this all about, on the way home from school,” kageyama murmured, sounding breathy.

“i don’t know, i just really like you right now,” hinata said defensively, “i just wanted to do it,”

kageyama looked like he was trying to frown, but it wasn’t really working. “stupid. let’s at least get home first,”

hinata’s heart skipped a beat at the thought of going to kageyama’s house, and being in his room with just the two of them. his problem stayed temporarily forgotten.

x x x

“hey,” kageyama murmured into the back of his neck. they were laying on the bed, kageyama’s arms secured tightly around hinata’s torso, and hinata was just trying to enjoy the warm feeling he got whenever he touched kageyama without having to think about things.

“what?” he replied anyway, because he knew kageyama would have done it for him. he pushed himself harder back into kageyama’s arms in the meantime.

“before,” kageyama started, and he sounded agitated, as if something was bothering him, curling his leg around hinata’s, “when you said you were thinking about stuff a lot. what was it?”

hinata froze. “it was nothing, like i said....”

kageyama didn’t seem to like this answer. “but it looked like it was bothering you,” he prodded sulkily, and hinata knew he couldn’t possibly ignore him like this even if he wanted to. he really wanted to.

“it’s kind of stupid,” hinata tried to stall, because he did not like where this conversation was going.

“it’s fine, i can handle stupid, i’m already dating you,” kageyama said teasingly, trying to ease hinata’s tension all the while nosing at hinata’s shoulder now.

he laughed a little at the ticklish sensation. damn kageyama. “but what if i don’t want to tell you,” hinata whined, because even if his words were true, he liked this game.

kageyama suddenly got up, looming over him. “then, i’ll have to tickle you,” he said with a completely straight face. hinata’s blood suddenly ran cold. when he was threatening him with tickles it was no joke.

“all right, all right, fine,” hinata relented, batting his wandering fingers away and sitting up opposite kageyama, ignoring the warm feeling in his chest when kageyama absently played with his hand while waiting for him to speak.

“i was just thinking...our relationship feels kind of unequal,” hinata mumbled self consciously.

kageyama frowned at him, clearly not understanding, so he continued. “i-i mean, you’re always doing nice stuff for me, and i don’t really know what to do because you’re being so different, and you don’t really fight with me anymore, and that makes me feel weird too, because it’s like you’re babying me all the time or something, and i never get to do anything for you—“

“hinata,” kageyama stopped his rambling.

“sorry,” hinata flushed.

“do you...not like it?” kageyama tilted his head, face falling a little.

“huh?” hinata felt a little alarmed at the insecure expression he was making.

“do you not like...the way i treat you?” kageyama reiterated.

“uh,” hinata didn’t really know where to start. he could hardly explain the weird feeling he had to himself, but he knew he had to say something quickly with how fast kageyama’s face was changing into a sad frown. “no, that’s not really what i meant...i like when you give me a lot of attention...” he flushed with embarrassment, “and it’s nice when you treat me to things and stuff,”

this seemed to lift kageyama’s spirits a little, but hinata wasn’t done.

“but, it’s just—like i said, you know—our relationship is really different than it was before. it’s hard to get used to. i don’t really know how to deal with it,” hinata admitted.

kageyama fidgeted nervously. hinata thought it was kind of refreshing to see him looking like this (what?) for once; open and not confident. it was probably a weird thought for him to have, though, so he shoved it away hurriedly.

“sorry, hinata, i didn’t know it made you...uncomfortable? i guess i was just happy to not have to cover up my feelings for you...” he trailed off, flush creeping onto his cheekbones. “i guess i can stop it,” he suggested hesitantly.

“n-no!” hinata hurriedly said. “i like it,” he promised, “it’s just—hard to explain.”

kageyama nodded. “i don’t really get it, but i’m sorry. hinata, to be honest, i hate seeing you like this. tell me what i can do.”

hinata’s eyes widened a little. he kept doing it again. outdoing himself, just when hinata thought kageyama was at his limit for being assertive and sympathetic, but apparently he wasn’t. there it was again, that rush of affection for his boyfriend.

“kageyama,” hinata said, lip wobbling, “you really are the best.”

kageyama bristled, trying to hide his pride. “oi, why do you sound so surprised by—wait, are you crying?”

he went slack jawed, not knowing how to fix this. a crying hinata was decidedly not a fun sight for him.

“i’m just happy...” hinata sniffled, before jerking back, “ah! but i did it again?”

“did what again?” kageyama asked, now thoroughly confused.

“the thing where you act all nice and selfless and stuff and i don’t know how to pay you back!” hinata cried, pouting.

“oh.” kageyama breathed. “so that was all that was bothering you?”

“well, don’t say it like that, it’s a big deal,” said hinata indignantly.

“why do you always want to pay me back? i like doing things for you,” kageyama sounded amused.

“because,” he huffed, annoyed that his boyfriend just didn’t get it, “i really like you and i want to do something for you, too!”

kageyama seemed to freeze up a little at those words, staring at hinata unabashedly. “then.” he spoke slowly, almost as if he was scared to utter the words, “then you can make it up to me in a different way.”

hinata gulped. was it just him or did kageyama’s voice sound awfully low and strained just now? before he could think too deeply about it, however, kageyama was closer now, leaning into him and running a hand along hinata’s waist, making him shiver. there was a mouth on his neck, kissing lightly, and hinata let out a little squeak, halfway between pleasure and surprise.

“hinata,” kageyama said lowly, thumb now digging into the skin between hinata’s hipbone.

he didn’t know what was going on. everything was suddenly so tense, and he felt a weird, warm pressure pooling at the pit of his stomach.

“y-yeah?!” he yelped, unprepared for having to speak.

“hinata,” he repeated flatly, “we’ve been dating for a while.”

hinata had an odd, fuzzy suspicion that he knew where this was going. and kageyama was such a perv, _god,_ but he wasn’t necessarily opposed—

“you could,” kageyama murmured shyly, leaning back onto his haunches, “feed me.”

hinata opened his mouth, but the words didn’t come out. he sat there gaping dumbly at kageyama’s oddly insecure expression.

“well, say something, dumbass!” he snapped after a minute of silence.

hinata’s lips twitched. “sorry, you, what?”

“you know…during lunchtime, or anytime, or, uh, i-i saw a couple doing that in a manga, and it seemed—nice…being fed by the person you like, i mean,” kageyama rushed to explain. he was definitely blushing now.

“what kind of manga were you reading?” hinata spluttered, trying not to laugh. _cute._

“my sister, she has, i mean, it’s not like i buy shoujo—she likes those kinds of manga, she just leaves them around the house while visiting,” kageyama flailed, squirming uncomfortably under hinata’s gaze. _really cute._

“okay, okay,” hinata wiped his eyes, “it’s fine, i get it…i guess we, i mean, i could do that,” it was his turn to flush. feeding kageyama…pampering kageyama…it would be so weird…but it was a weird he _liked._ he wanted to laugh all over again at the hopeful expression on his boyfriend’s face.

“really?!” kageyama’s eyes were wider than they’d been the whole day.

“of course,” hinata chuckled, embarrassment now gone in favour of humouring him, “why not?”

kageyama gave him a little smile, and crawled forward to press hinata’s face to his neck. “can’t wait for lunchtime tomorrow,” he murmured into hinata’s hair. hinata couldn’t help but smile at the sudden excitedness.

“ah,” he said to himself quietly not a minute later. kageyama was cute and all, but…that was kind of embarrassing. hinata was glad he hadn’t— _done_ anything, before kageyama spoke up. because he’d been expecting a completely different kind of request. was it bad that he kind of wanted it even more now? hinata blushed involuntarily, trying to wave the thought away.

kageyama caught his hand. “what are you doing all of a sudden, dumbass?”

“i, uh, nothing!” hinata tried to say, but meeting kageyama’s eyes, and the _stare,_ he knew he’d break soon. those eyes weren’t enlarged or pleading; kageyama wasn’t even speaking, and yet…he was weak for that look. for that face.

“um, alright, okay, fine!” hinata started to relent, after ten seconds of receiving the stare.

“i didn’t even say anything, stupid,” kageyama snickered, but hinata knew he was secretly pleased and would definitely be lording this power over him in all future events and/or interactions between them, which, great.

“do you want me to tell you or not?” hinata glared, huffy.

“fine, sorry, tell me,” kageyama said, changing his tone of voice quickly, palms raised up in a peace offering.

hinata crossed his arms. “i don’t know if i feel like it any more.” he stuck his nose in the air, because he could lord some things over kageyama, too. in fact, see if he doesn’t.

“hey, come on, you have to say it now, it’s too late,” kageyama whined, tugging at his bicep. hinata sniffed but his resolve was already crumblingby the millisecond.

“it’s not even important, i don’t know why you’re making this such a big deal,” he said weakly, knowing he was probably about to embarrass himself just to sate the setter’s curiosity anyway.

“if you don’t say it i really will tickle you,” kageyama threatened, wiggling his fingers menacingly.

hinata shuddered. “okay, already! i told you, it’s no big deal, i just thought that back then, you were gonna ask for something different…” he mumbled.

kageyama stared at him cluelessly. “back then…?”

hinata rolled his eyes. why was he making this difficult for him? “yes, back then! you know, when i said i wanted to pay you back in some way,”

“something different,” kageyama frowned, biting his lip. hinata frowned back at him, and then winced as he watched realisation spread across kageyama’s face slowly.

“oh? something different?” kageyama was leering now, looking ridiculously pleased with himself, and hinata had the urge to remind him of the blushing virgin he’d acted not five minutes ago. unfortunately, he didn’t even get time to voice his thoughts.

“what kind of thing were you picturing, hmm, hinata?” kageyama was still grinning, looking so annoyingly self satisfied, and hinata kind of wanted to just shove him, but at the same time, he really really _didn’t,_ because kageyama was now crowding him against the wall, and hinata would be lying if he said he didn’t want the stubborn space between them to just disappear already.

“something really… _dirty?_ ” he whispered against hinata’s jaw.

“n-no! not like that,” he tried to stammer out an explanation

“i bet it is,” kageyama rumbled into his ear, “you’re so naughty all of a sudden, hinata…where’s my cute innocent boyfriend?”

“i-i’m not cute!” he insisted, now actively trying to swat kageyama’s nearing face away.

“yes you are,” kageyama said breathlessly, nosing at his cheek.

“i’m not, really, though,” hinata replied, disgruntled.

“you’re super cute to me.” kageyama insisted, kissing that spot on his cheek that he was nuzzling before.

“but—“ hinata tried.

“and if my _super cute_ boyfriend,” kageyama put extra emphasis on the phrase, fluttering his eyelashes almost pleadingly, “is offering, then how can i refuse?”

“hey! i never said i was offering anything…” hinata argued, but all he wanted to do was give in. 

“and besides…i wanted to ask for that too,” kageyama whispered. “how was i supposed to know that it was the right time to bring it up, hmm?” he brought his hand up to cup hinata’s cheek, “how was i supposed to know that you wanted it, too?”

kageyama tried to lean in, but hinata slapped him away lightly. “what do you think, idiot? did you think i just _wouldn’t_ want to do it, or some shit?”

“no, that’s not what i—“

“i’m a guy, too, bakageyama…and i’m not _cute._ ” hinata huffed, nudging away from kageyama’s attempted kisses.

“sorry, sorry,” kageyama murmured against his skin, “i can’t help thinking you’re cute. i like you. don’t you think i’m cute? sometimes, i mean?”

and he looked up at hinata with those damn _eyes_ again, and he couldn’t _not_ speak— “well of course i do,” he relented.

“see?” kageyama coaxed, despite the flush staining his face now, “being cute is a compliment,”

hinata rolled his eyes. “fine, whatever,” he said, trying his best to be immune to kageyama’s ever more insistent touches. “but i’m not fragile, you know?!”

kageyama stilled. “of course, i know that!” he said indignantly. “i, of all people, know that very well…”

“yeah? i mean, yeah,” hinata smiled, “just because i’m short, it doesn’t mean i’m cute and frail!”

kageyama smiled back. “of course it doesn’t…but, uh, maybe you could, you know. prove it. that you’re not _fragile._ ”

hinata frowned. “what do you mean, haven’t i—“ oh, right. kageyama was trying to flirt with him. his face heated instantly.

“well…okay.”

because despite all his huffing and pouting, the truth was that hinata really _had_ wanted to do. something different.

“oh,” kageyama exhaled, “okay,” and hinata almost wanted to laugh, because what kind of idiot would ask something like that without expecting him to agree?

“okay,” kageyama breathed out roughly again, resuming his kisses against hinata’s neck, and wow, okay, that definitely felt—it felt good. hinata let out a breathy sigh, raising his fingers up to thread them into kageyama’s smooth black hair.

“what-what do you want to do?” hinata asked shakily. he was frankly impressed that he was able to string together coherent sentences right now.

“um, i don’t know…” kageyama let out an almost-laugh against his neck. hinata was glad to hear that he sounded just as shaky.

“oh, well—that’s okay, just,” hinata pulled kageyama against him, sliding down until he was flat on his back. kageyama complied easily, and hinata’s eyes couldn’t help but wander, because this was a decidedly _nice_ view, with him boxing hinata in, face flushed and all breathy, and if hinata lifted his head a little, he could see down kageyama’s shirt…

yeah, that had to go. “off,” hinata demanded, tugging at the collar.

“what, wanna see me naked?” kageyama arched his brow, scoffing as he pulled it off anyway.

“yes,” hinata sighed, half because he did, and half because _abs_ were now _in plain sight_ , and he wanted to touch.

kageyama flushed. “oh, right. i mean, of course. so, you too, right?” he glanced down at hinata and then quickly averted his gaze.

“uh, yeah,” hinata blinked, tugging off his own uniform, letting kageyama kiss him. they quickly set up a rhythm, because while they had never done anything—well, _dirty,_ they have definitely kissed before. uh, a lot.

“mm,” hinata sighed happily, and kageyama twitched at the sound, hips stuttering forward. they both gasped at the same time. it was getting very real very fast, as kageyama pressed harder against him, making soft little sounds. hinata’s heart thudded at a thousand miles per second, and all of a sudden—much as he really wanted it, he wasn’t sure if he was prepared. baring your body and your most secret expressions to someone was scary. kageyama didn’t seem to care though, biting hinata’s bottom lip none too softly, and while it definitely felt good, hinata’s heart just didn’t want to calm down. then he felt something suspiciously stiff, pressing hard into his own suspicious stiffness, and he was pretty sure his brain short circuited. (but somehow, it was good, as good as a short circuit of a brain can get, because he felt the sparks travel down his spine, ending at…his crotch area.)

it was a delicious kind of spark, to be sure, but it was just so _much._ okay, hinata told himself, don’t freak out. don’t freak out, everything’s fine, you’ll check once just to make sure.

but he peeked again, and there was just no mistaking it. kageyama was definitely _hard._ hinata swallowed, but drool was pooling in his mouth once more and, wait what, did the thought of kageyama hard because of him really _make his mouth water?_ hinata almost scowled in embarrassment, but his mouth was too preoccupied with kageyama’s to care about complying with his poor brain. this was weird. this was so unfamiliar, and now he was breathing hard, with kageyama still above him making those grunting noises as they kissed, and he was filled with a need to give.

that was what he’d been meaning to do, right? all he’d wanted was to do something for kageyama in return. hinata squirmed with the sudden need to touch. his damn mind kept changing tracks, and he was sick of it, and he just really wanted to reach _down_ and touch, somehow…

  
“ah—kageyama,” hinata pushed him back. their lips popped obscenely from the separation, a string saliva connecting their tongues.

“what,” his boyfriend replied, looking him in the eyes with a dopey, glazed expression. the press of hips on his was still very apparent. hinata wriggled under him, trying to get up.

“what are you doing,” kageyama said when he didn’t get an answer, sounding upset.

“just, take your pants off,” hinata said hurriedly, fingers scrabbling at his belt buckle already. kageyama flashed him a surprised expression, but hinata thought he also looked kind of pleased. “hurry, please,” he complained again, relishing in the slight grin that appeared on kageyama’s face at the request.

“what, um,” he licked his lips, “what do you want to do?”

“i…” hinata hesitated, because he wasn’t really exactly sure yet. so he just tugged blindly at kageyama’s pants with a frown.

“okay, okay,” kageyama let out a laugh that was too breathy.

and when hinata finally saw it, he had to swallow back the saliva pooling in his mouth at the sight of kageyama’s dick. it was so smooth, so fleshy-looking, a nice length and girth. it was big, and that made hinata worry his lip in anxiety, but at the same time, with the way it glistened with pre come, he felt the urge to put his lips on it, to—

“sit like that,” hinata ordered, pushing his legs off the bed.

“hinata, what are—“ kageyama’s question was cut short because of the whine he let out when hinata dropped to his knees, staring up into his eyes.

“wow, really?” kageyama mumbled, “are you sure?” there was no mistaking the eagerness in his voice, so why was he being hesitant, hinata thought frustratedly.

“i’m sure! i’m…proving it,” he said, taking a big breath in order to try and calm the frantic thud of his pulse. he was really about to do this…

“um, okay, if you’re sure,” kageyama said, words all but failing him as he watched hinata get comfortable sitting back on his haunches between his legs, placing a shaky hand on his thigh. kageyama’s dick twitched, because, wow. that was. a sight.

“sorry, i’m just a little nervous,” hinata whispered, squeezing the inside of his thigh. kageyama’s dick pulsed again almost painfully, and he gulped in anticipation, but he didn’t want to tell hinata to hurry up.

“yeah, no, it’s fine,” he said instead. hinata admired the way his face flushed, the way he stared down at hinata, with affection, but with this _different_ kind of look. he thought it looked a lot like lust. he couldn’t keep him waiting; he loved that look too much.

“i wanna make you feel good,” hinata fidgeted, leaning in, watching the little tremor that passed through kageyama’s body at the exposure to the hot air of his breath. he grinned a little. maybe this would be even more fun than he’d thought.

“please,” kageyama moaned, and he takes it back, he wasn’t _ready_ for that sound. but then kageyama’s fingers—so _thick_ and long—latched onto his hair, not quite pushing his head down, but ever so subtly pressing, as if he could barely control himself. and hinata loved that. he loved that he got to make kageyama like that. he loved that he could torture kageyama like that. but he wasn’t mean enough to ignore the painfully hard cock in front of him.

“it’s okay, i’ll take care of you this time,” hinata whispered, watching the blush bloom across his setter’s cheeks.

“please,” kageyama hissed again, and who could say no to that? so hinata took a last breath to steel his nervous heart, and closed his plush lips against kageyama’s dick, slowly lowering his head down on it, until half of it was buried in hinata’s mouth. he was starting to get a little uncomfortable; he’d never done this before, but the look on kageyama’s face made it more than worth it.

“oh _god,_ ” kageyama gritted out, fingers knotting more aggressively into orange locks.

hinata smiled around him and slowly pulled off, swirling his tongue on the tip, pressing down hard and eliciting another nice hiss as kageyama clenched his jaw. and he’d hardly even done anything, hinata hummed to himself. the vibrations sent tremors through kageyama’s over sensitised body.

hinata slobbered his way back down kageyama’s length again, kissing and tonguing down a prominent vein. he wanted to at least try to make this good, and he was so in love with the way kageyama shuddered and tugged on his hair. he tried to take the cock into his mouth again, and narrowly avoided choking, because it was just—big, and it was kind of scary. but he still wanted to properly blow kageyama, so he inched his mouth downwards and then steeply back up again, sucking hard, and repeating. he slowly increased his pace as he got more used to it, taking in as much as would fit.

“ _fuck,_ hinata, what the _fuck,_ how the fuck are you so fucking _hot_ and, and _wet,_ ” kageyama complained loudly, hands clenching hinata’s hair hard.

“mm—“ hinata let out a little whine as he accidentally slid too far down, “ _mmm!_ ” he could feel the tears stinging his eyes, could feel the way kageyama visibly trembled above him.

“ _oh,_ please, hinata,” he _begged,_ and hinata felt like he couldn’t do anything but ignore the way his jaw unhinged and his eyes pricked, so he could take in more of him. a minute or so after adjusting, he managed to set up a rhythm, pumping his lips fast up and down kageyama’s dick, tongue pressing flatly against him, hand caressing kageyama’s inner thigh to ease the tremors. his other hand darted down to squeeze kageyama’s balls before he even knew what he was doing, eliciting another growly groan from him.

“fuck, yeah,” kageyama choked, seemingly against his will, “a little faster, please—“

hinata eased up on his liking and kissing, and focused more on the…sucking, head bobbing up and down faster than he’d done before. this seemed to do it for kageyama, who was cursing loudly. hinata tried to pick up his speed, eyes watering, fingers sliding across the base that he couldn’t fit yet.

“oh god, _ohh, god,_ hinata,” kageyama chanted above him, hips stuttering. hinata hummed in response, knowing already what an effect it had on his boyfriend.

and somehow, just as hinata was beginning to get used to it, giving the tip of kageyama’s head special attention while he stroked the rest of him with a brutal pace, kageyama moaned, “i-i’m going to come, hinata, fuck, i’m going to—“

but hinata wouldn’t let him push his head off, he stayed with his mouth tight around kageyama’s dick, tongue pressing and swirling as best as he could, until kageyama really was shuddering, groaning in a way hinata had never heard before. it was _so_ hot. it was his own personal religious experience, hinata decided, as he gave kageyama’s cock one last hard suck, and the he was shaking again, legs quivering, head thrown back, one hand tangled in his sheets, and the other, unconsciously pressing hinata’s head down.

“hinata…god…” he was still gasping, even after he just came.

“that was fast,” hinata murmured, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, after a big audible swallow. kageyama’s eyes grew huge and dazed at the sight.

“asshole,” he gave hinata an indignant glare, which melted to softness instantly when he laid eyes on him. “thank you.”

hinata preened under the praise when he added, “fuck, how’d you learn to—uh, blow like that?”

he could only shrug. “it was my first time, obviously.”

kageyama let himself fall onto his back against the bed, tugging hinata up with him. “fuck.”

“um, so you liked it,” hinata said, suddenly self conscious.

kageyama only snorted. “yes, idiot. god, it was…it was a hundred times better than just my hand.”

despite having just had his mouth around kageyama’s dick, hinata flustered. “y-your own—“

“well, obviously,” kageyama scowled, “and i always think about you,” he added this last part for the benefit of seeing hinata go red (again), “but it was better than i imagined,”

“k-kageyama,” hinata squeaked, not meeting his eyes.

“what, are you telling me you don’t do that too?” kageyama scoffed affectionately, pulling hinata against his own body.

“uh, well, yeah…” hinata conceded into his shoulder.

“exactly,” kageyama said, pleased, watching hinata fluster even more at what he’d just admitted, before softening his tone, adding, “hey…you didn’t have to do that just because you felt guilty or something, you know,”

hinata lifted his head, propping himself up on kageyama’s chest. “of course i know that! i did tell you i wanted to do it, bakageyama,” he stuck his tongue out.

kageyama lifted his head up to lick it, and hinata drew back immediately. “ew, gross!” he whined, eyeing him apprehensively.

kageyama simply shrugged. “just let me kiss you, stupid.”

hinata was still squinting down at him but he let kageyama lick into his mouth.

“hinata,” his boyfriend suddenly said, breaking off their kiss with a little gasp, “do you,” he glanced to the side, “need me to do it back or something?”

“huh?” hinata blinked at him, still dazed from their kiss. kageyama gave an amused little huff.

“you know, uh, take care of you.”

hinata glanced down quickly to find himself sporting a semi, but then he dropped against kageyama’s chest again. “uh, no.” he wasn’t sure if he was _quite_ ready for the sensory overload that was kageyama’s touch down below. “i just wanna cuddle now.”

“are you sure?” kageyama looked him over dubiously. “i don’t want you to be in pain…”

“just because some of us are horny perverts, it doesn’t mean the rest can’t control themselves,” hinata sniffed, ignoring kageyama’s reply that it had technically been _his_ idea, anyway. “what’s the problem? won’t you cuddle me?” he gave his boyfriend his best puppy eyes.

kageyama looked away immediately, cheeks brightening. “of course i will, dumbass…” he hesitated as he let hinata tuck his legs in between kageyama’s thighs and prop his chin up on the setter’s pectorals, wearing a lazy grin.

“hinata…even if it’s just when we’re alone…i mean, it’s fine if i call you this, right, but—“

“what is it?” hinata always relished kageyama’s flustered expression.

“i can…call you baby, right? sometimes?” kageyama’s arm was now covering his face, and he looked a bit like he was melting from embarrassment. but then, so was hinata’s heart—with affection.

“what the heck, kageyama,” he crooned, “that’s so cute,”

the young man in question feebly swatted at hinata’s cheek. “shut up,” he whined miserably.

“of course you can,” hinata chimed, kissing the fingers that were trying to shush him. “i never thought you’d want to use pet names, but i’m kind of happy,”

“yeah?” kageyama opened his eyes with a shy little smile. “i’m glad about that…baby.”

hinata bit his lip. that was definitely a nice sound. “actually, you can call me that any time.”

kageyama’s smile widened.

x x x

it had become less weird.

kageyama still spoiled him, to the constant surprise of their teammates. there was even an added bonus: he now called hinata ‘baby’ whenever he had the opportunity. in fact, it was becoming rare to hear the word ‘hinata’ out of his mouth now. hinata still also got called ‘idiot’, ‘dumbass’, ‘stupid’, and other variations, but he didn’t mind. it wouldn’t be the same otherwise.

and he liked it. he wholeheartedly liked it all, because now, he didn’t feel like their relationship was too unequal, like he was kind of useless. because after school, kageyama would give him this _look,_ and hinata would get on his knees gladly.

it was only one of the reasons why now, he could finally enjoy the perks of dating kageyama without that previous guilt. he could relish in the fact that kageyama let him win at least half their fights, and that he lent him his jacket when it was too cold (hinata knew kageyama secretly liked it when he worse his clothes), and when kageyama treated him to a taiyaki on their walks home in the winter, hinata would feed half of it to him (because he knew kageyama liked that, too).

eventually, he’d let kageyama touch him back, he’d wipe the sweat off kageyama’s forehead during break times, he’d let kageyama rest his head on his lap during long bus rides. they were equals, he realised. 

**Author's Note:**

> i,,,hope you liked that at least somewhat. i'm also active on tumblr@aaa-melie and twitter@aaamelies if you wanna talk about fics/kagehina/anything really, and also if anybody wants they can leave a fic request or something in the comments because i love writing these two so much and would be happy to do it (>_>)


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